


Don't Hide From Me, I'll Tell You Everything

by Fenix21



Series: And Then They Were Three... [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Swearing, cross purposes, mpreg!jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 06:34:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3317600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fenix21/pseuds/Fenix21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Jensen, I can’t—I can’t lose you.”<br/>Jensen scowled and drew back, ducked down to try and look into Jared’s face. “Lose me? What the hell are  you talking about about, Jay?”<br/>“I saw the envelope, Jensen!” Jared blurted out.<br/>Envelope? Jensen was confused, until it hit him. That envelope. Jesus-fucking-Christ, he knew he should have picked up the mail the other day on his way in the house.</p><p> </p><p>  <em>Jensen may be hiding things, but there's more going on here than he can see.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Hide From Me, I'll Tell You Everything

**Author's Note:**

> I was feeling really melodramatic and Jared paid for it this time. This came completely out of left field and just took off from there and went flying away on its own.

“Dean…Dean….”

“Okay. Cut!” Bob called. “Jared, that’s great. I think we’ve just about got it. Let’s give it one more take.”

Jensen felt Jared’s body shudder in response to the request, but he pulled away and nodded, avoiding eye contact with anyone. Jensen put a subtle hand on his hip, squeezed lightly. Jared let his eyes skitter to Jensen’s quickly and then dart away with barely a flash of a weak smile. Jensen frowned. Jared had been acting a little off the last few days and something about this scene was hitting him hard. He was usually really good at keeping a cap on his own emotions, not getting too involved in the scene or crossing himself over into Sam’s character; but today was different.

“Okay, guys. Ready?” Bob signaled the camera man. Jensen and Jared both shifted back to their marks. “And…action.”

“Sammy…I’m proud of us,” Jensen choked out in Dean’s most graveled voice.

Jared’s eyes were already red and watering, and when he cupped Jensen’s face, clasped long fingers around  the nape of his neck, Jensen felt him trembling. Jared drew him in, cradled his head, buried his face in the curve of Jensen’s neck.

“Jen….”

This wasn’t how the scene was supposed to go.

Jensen’s eyes snapped open. “Jared?” he whispered.

Jared was shaking against him, full body trembling, and Jensen’s arms immediately came up to hold him, eyes darting across the set to meet Bob’s questioning gaze.

“Cut!” Bob called again. “Guys, everybody, that’s a wrap for today,” he said, reading Jensen’s look just right.

Jared didn’t move away. “Jen…I….”

“Jared, babe, what’s wrong?” Jensen asked, arms tightening further around Jared’s back. “Talk to me, Jay. Come on.”

Jared shook his head in the crook of Jensen’s neck, shuddered again, and this one turned into a sob. Jensen stiffened in alarm. He grasped Jared’s shoulders and tried to pry him back enough that he could see his face.

“Jared, you’re scaring me, man. What’s wrong?”

Jared just shook his head, trying to shrink down into himself, shoulders curving forward and caving around his heaving chest. He wouldn’t look at Jensen.

“Shit…” Jensen swore to himself, darted a look around for one of their make-up girls while still keeping a hold of Jared’s shoulders. No way was he letting go. Not until he figured out what was wrong. Lindsey caught his eye and he jerked his chin, beckoning her over. She came.

“Linds, sweetheart, mop this stuff off me, would ya?”

“Sure, thing,” Lindsey said and grabbed the towel off her shoulder and the spritz bottle from her utility pack and cleaned the majority of the gunk off of Jensen’s face. She studiously kept her eyes focused away from Jared who was slowly breaking to pieces in front of them both. “There. You can go out into public without someone calling the cops, now.”

“Thanks. You’re an angel.” Jensen gave her a quick wink. “Hey, can you call Cliff? Have him get the car?”

“Absolutely.” Lindsey pull out her cell and moved off a few feet.

Jensen stood up, pulled Jared under his arm and coaxed him off set to a relatively quiet corner.

“All right, Jay. Talk. Now. You’ve got me scared shitless here, dude.”

Jared shook his head again, reached out half blind, and clutched at Jensen’s jacket, fisted it and pulled him in until their foreheads knocked together—a classic Dean and Sam pose that they had adopted for themselves, or maybe it was the other way around. Jensen couldn’t remember anymore.

“Jensen, I can’t—I can’t lose you.”

Jensen scowled and drew back, ducked down to try and look into Jared’s face. “Lose me? What the hell are  you talking about about, Jay?”

“I saw the envelope, Jensen!” Jared blurted out.

Envelope? Jensen was confused, until it hit him. _That_ envelope. Jesus-fucking-Christ, he _knew_ he should have picked up the mail the other day on his way in the house.

“And I made Cliff tell me where he took you last week—the day you called in sick,” Jared continued, voice rising. “He took you to the hospital, Jen! To have tests done. What’s going on? Please. You can’t keep me in the dark like this!”

Jensen grabbed Jared to him, wrestled him into a tight, awkward hug because Jared’s whole body was still trying to fold in on itself under all the emotional stress. 

“Jared, I’m fine. Okay?” He smoothed a hand over Jared’s hair, down his neck and back. “I’m really okay. I promise.”

Jared shook his head, jerked away to glare at Jensen with watery, red swollen eyes. “Do you think I haven’t noticed?”

“Noticed what?” Jensen asked, a little edgily. 

“How you’ve been getting sick almost every time you eat—when you _do_ eat—how you’ve lost like ten pounds in the last six weeks, the way you’re going through antacids like they’re fucking candy!”

Jared was picking up steam now, getting angry even though the steady stream of tears didn’t stop, and starting to draw curious, worried gazes from the crew around them.

“Guys?” Cliff’s voice temporarily broke through Jared’s rant. “You, uh, ready to go?”

Jensen grabbed Jared’s shoulder in a hard grip and steered him after Cliff. “Yeah, we are.”

Once in the back of the SUV, Jared shoved himself in the far corner against the door and curled inward again, hiding his face in his hands. Jensen sighed heavily, frustrated and fidgety now that he had some idea what was going through Jared’s mind. He glanced into the rearview mirror and met Cliff’s gaze. Cliff reached out and turned on the radio to a random station to give them some illusion of privacy and then pretended to concentrate very hard on the evening traffic.

Jensen sighed again and scooted across the seat. He looped an arm over Jared’s shoulders and pulled him in, Jared didn’t fight, just turned around into Jensen’s chest and snaked his monkey arms around Jensen’s waist. Jensen carded his fingers through Jared’s hair for a minute.

“You know it’s just like you to think the very worst,” he whispered quietly.

“What am I suppose to think, Jensen?” Jared mumbled. “You’re nearly as tight lipped as Dean. Why do you think you’re so good at playing him? Lots of character traits in common.”

Jensen chuckled wryly. “A few, yeah, I suppose. But seriously, Jay, I’m okay.”

“What about all the stomach stuff, then? And the tests?”

Jensen took a deep breath. He’d known this was going to come back and bite him eventually. He’d been stupid to try and hide it from Jared, but he’d been under his own stresses so much this season that Jensen didn’t want to lay anything else on him until he was sure of what he was dealing with, and he was now, and it was nothing, just like he’d thought—or almost nothing.

“Does it matter?” he asked. “I’m okay.”

“Dammit, Jensen!” Jared sat up angrily.

Jensen just looked at him a moment, then sighed. “They thought I had stomach cancer.”

Jared blanched, and his eyes filled with fresh tears, lip quivering until he bit down on it. Jensen shook his head and wrapped a strong hand around the back of Jared’s neck, pulling him back in again.

“See, this is why I didn’t say anything. You’re just going to worry endlessly now even though all the tests came back negative, and I didn’t want that.”

“Wh-what is it, then?”

“Some stomach disorder that I still can’t pronounce coupled with a nasty ulcer that was probably caused by your dumb ass being so difficult while I was directing the last episode.”

Jensen had meant the remark to be funny, to lighten the mood, but Jared just flinched and curled into him further with a tiny,

“I’m sorry.”

“Oh, for fuck sake, Jared.” Jensen gave him a stiff shake and an impossibly tight squeeze. “I was joking. Look, you can’t let this get to you. Everything’s fine. I’m fine. It all turned out in the end.”

Jared pressed his cheek harder to Jensen’s chest and after a minute said, “Were you scared?”

“Was I—?” Jensen stopped in stroking Jared’s hair. Was he scared? No. Not now. Had he been? He hadn’t given it much thought. There had been a lot of sleepless nights sitting in the den staring at nothing. He’d assume it was just the intense stomach cramps keeping him awake, but maybe it had been more than that. Maybe he _had_ been afraid; maybe it hadn’t been just nothing he was staring at in the dark; maybe it had been his own mortality.

“Were you?” Jared asked again. This time his tone was more insistent, a little accusatory. He pulled away enough to look Jensen in the face.

Jensen held his gaze. “Yeah, I suppose I was.”

Jared cursed and gave Jensen a little shove into the seat-back. “Dammit, Jensen! And you couldn’t find it in yourself to tell me? To open up to me just a little? To let me know you were hurting? That you were scared?” Jared shoved a hand through his hair and thrust backward across the seat, turning away from Jensen. “What am I to you? Some damn china doll that has to be protected from everything? Am I anything to you? Do I _mean_ anything to you!”

Jared’s voice had risen so high and so loud that even Cliff couldn’t help flinching at the harsh words. Jensen just stared, bewildered. He’d done what he thought was best. It hadn’t made sense to unnecessarily worry anyone about anything until he had enough information to act on. He hadn’t even told Bob or Eric anything yet, just requested a little time off for doctor’s appointments and then suffered in silence when the pain was so bad he could barely stand up straight.

But had that really been fair to Jared? He wasn’t sure now, staring across the cramped space at the fiery betrayal in Jared’s eyes. 

“Jared, you mean everything— _everything_ —to me. How can you even think otherwise?”

Jared had his arms folded around his middle now and was stuffed into the far corner against the door again. He was still shaking and he’d gone pale. Worryingly so. Jensen frowned, leaning forward, but Jared jerked away, and Jensen withdrew. There was more here than Jared was saying. This wasn’t all about Jensen’s lack of sharing—most of it was, true, but not all.

“Jared—.”

Cliff pulled to a stop in their driveway just then and turned off the radio. “Here we go guys. Home sweet home.”

Jared jerked the door open and bolted for the house. Jensen paused just long enough to give Cliff a quick ‘thanks’ and an apologetic look before he was out of the SUV and after him. 

When he got inside, he could already hear a door slamming upstairs.

“Jared!”

He took the stairs two at a time and when he reach their bedroom, he heard the sounds of Jared retching behind the closed bathroom door. “Jared?”

Jensen wanted to go to him, barge into the bathroom, hold Jared’s hair back and wipe his face with a cool cloth, but he honestly wasn’t sure his ministrations would be welcome or his offer of comfort accepted. He stayed where he was, hands fisting and un-fisting at his sides, shoulders tense.

The toilet flushed, water ran in the sink, and he heard a gargle, swish, and spit, and the door creaked open. 

Jared looked exhausted, like he’d gone ten rounds in place of his stunt man on a bad day. He had one big hand splayed open across his belly, pressing in like he didn’t trust himself not to be sick again. He wavered a little, and Jensen resisted the urge to lurch forward and help him. Jared planted a shoulder in the doorframe to steady himself and raised red rimmed, bloodshot eyes to Jensen’s face.

“You want to know why, Jensen? Why I might need—fucking _want_ —to know what’s going on with you? Apart from all the usual reasons that I fucking _love_ you, and don’t want you to have to suffer through anything like that alone.” He paused for a breath then un-fisted the hand not pressed to his middle and threw something on the bed between them. “Well, there it is.”

The object was flat, thin, about five inches long, and filled Jensen with a profound sense of dread—not because of what he suspected it represented, but because he’d had no idea and it proved all his actions over the last weeks to be those of a complete and utter bastard.

He took a step forward, reached out a shaking hand to pick the thin stick up, held it in front of him for a long second. It was a simple piece of plastic with a little window cut in the side and in that window was a bright, bold pink plus sign. Jensen bit back a curse, tried to swallow past the lump of raw, unfettered emotion closing up his throat. Tears welled in his eyes and his hand shook so badly he nearly dropped the little stick.

“Jesus, Jared…you’re pregnant?”

Jared gulped a breath and nodded. Jensen’s eyes dipped to the broad hand spread protectively over Jared’s belly, his fingers flexing nervously in the fabric of his plaid shirt.

“H-how long?”

“About six weeks,” Jared whispered. “Give or take.”

The tears were starting to spill over onto Jensen’s cheeks, burning fiery trails of guilt down his face.  “Jared, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I—.”

“How could you?” Jared shrugged minutely. “I just took the test this morning, and I was so—so freaked out because I thought you were dying, and you were trying to hide it from me, and I was going to lose you just when—.”

Jared’s voice cracked and broke and he ducked his head, swiping an angry hand across his eyes to catch more fresh tears.

Jensen threw the test back on the bed and was around it and had Jared in his arms in less than a heartbeat.

“God, Jay, I’m so sorry, babe. So sorry.”

This should have been the happiest moment of Jared’s life, or ranking in among them, but instead he was sick with fear and worry, terrified that he would be facing having a baby alone and that baby would be the last remaining piece of the man he loved. All because Jensen had tried to be macho and keep his health issues to himself. 

“Jen, I just—I need to you to be honest with me. Please. Don’t hide your pain. Don’t hide your problems. We’re in this together, and I need you to be…I just need you.” He rocked his head against Jensen’s collar bone, arms still drawn tight in around his middle like he felt he had to shield the new life inside him. His voice dropped to a whisper. “ _We_ need you.”

It broke Jensen—the realization that Jared wasn’t just pleading for himself. He was pleading for the child growing inside him, the child they had created together. His knees gave out and dropped him on the edge of the bed. 

“Oh my God….”

Jared slid down beside him, eyes immediately concered, hands fluttering over Jensen, searching for an epicenter of pain or discomfort that he could quell. Jensen wrested his hands and held them tight and looked Jared in the eyes, his own suddenly wide in shock and awe.

“You’re pregnant,” he said. Jared nodded slowly, frowning a little when Jensen’s face started to split into a disbelieving, almost manic grin. “My God, Jared, you’re pregnant, and I’m gonna be—I’m gonna be a dad.”

His voice was awestruck and innocent, like a little boy who couldn’t believe he’d been given that one perfect, coveted Christmas present. He reached hesitantly forward and flattened his palm against Jared’s belly. There wasn’t even the hint of a baby bump yet, but he would swear he could feel the fullness of that new life inside him, warm under his hand. 

Jared pressed both hands over Jensen’s, sucking in a breath like his touch was electric. The corners of his mouth were tipping up in an involuntary smile at the stunned look on Jensen’s face. 

“I know we said we were going to wait,” Jared said in a rush. “But when they signed us for another season…I just got to thinking, we’re not getting any younger; and I was going to talk to you, Jen, I really was, but then it just _happened_ and—.”

Jensen leaned forward and silenced Jared with a firm kiss. “Jay?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up, babe. It’s fine. More than fine.” Jensen grinned again. “God, it’s fantastic!”

“Really? You’re really okay with it?”

“Absolutely,” Jensen said. “I was only waiting because I thought it was what you wanted.”

Jared shook his head. “I know it’s going to be a lot to handle with the show and all, but I’m sure we can work around it. They can do anything with camera angles these days, and maybe they can just write down my part for the next season—.”

“Jay?”

Jared look up. “Yeah?”

“You’re doing it again.” Jensen smiled and pulled Jared in for another kiss. “Don’t worry. We’ll make it work. But _you_ are going to have to take it easy and not worry so much about stuff. It’s not good for you. Either of you.” 

Jared blushed a little. “Then don’t give us any reason to.”

“Touche`.” Jensen shifted around so he could tip Jared back on the bed and then stretch out beside him, leaning on an elbow and spreading his fingers wider over Jared’s belly. “Can you…can you feel it?”

Jared grinned this time. “No, silly. That won’t happen for a couple more months at least.” Jensen’s face fell in such a look of disappointment that it made Jared grin bigger. “But there will be plenty to deal with before that. The throwing up, for instance,” he said, tipping his head a fraction toward the bathroom. “That started last week.”

“God, Jared, I’m sorry,” Jensen said earnestly. “I just thought the new catering service wasn’t agreeing with you.”

Jared shrugged. “It’s partly that, yeah, but mostly the smells. The smells are the worst, and we’re going to have to talk to Misha about his cologne ‘cause it sets me right off.”

Jensen chuckled and rubbed a circle on Jared’s belly. “I’ll do that first thing tomorrow.”

“Good.” Jared’s face went serious again, and his voice soft, hesitant, when he spoke next. “Jen, you have to promise me, from now on, that you won’t hide anything anymore, okay? Please?”

Jensen pressed a slow, warm kiss to Jared’s temple. “I promise.”

Jared nodded his acceptance, throat tight around more tears. “Good, because I couldn’t— _we_ couldn’t live without you.”

“Hey now.” Jensen lifted up and straddled jared’s thighs. “What did I just say about you worrying over this stuff?” He caught Jared’s chin with his thumb and finger and turned his head so he was looking at him. Then he gently rucked up Jared’s shirt and leaned over to press a kiss just below his navel. “The only thing I want you thinking about right now is this little one in here.”

“Jesus, Jensen…” Jared sighed.

Jensen looked up from under his lashes, still dotting Jared’s belly with soft little kisses. “Oh, you’re not going to get all weepy on me now, are you?”

“Yup.” Jared nodded, tears already leaking from the corners of his eyes. “I am.”

He tried to swipe at them, but Jensen stayed his hand and held it firmly, sliding off to the side again so he didn’t put too much weight across Jared’s middle when he stretched up to kiss his mouth. “I was kidding, babe. You can cry all you want, but—.” He waited until Jared looked directly at him. “I promise I won’t be the cause of it ever again.”

More tears slid from the corners of Jared’s eyes and he reached up to frame Jensen’s face with his big hands. “I know.”

Jensen nuzzled Jared’s palm. “I love you, Jared Padalecki, and you have made me the happiest man on Earth. Today and always.”

Jared laughed but it came out as a half-sob. “Say that to me again sometime, when I’m not pregnant and hormonal and can enjoy it without bawling like a baby.”

“I’ll tell you every day,” Jensen said. “Because it’s true—every day of my life.”

“Oh, Jensen….” Jared shook his head slowly back and forth. “I love you, Jensen Ackles. So much.”

Jensen brushed his hand downward again, caressing Jared’s flat belly with a gentle hand. “We’re going to be great together, Jay.”

Jared looped his arms around Jensen’s neck and hugged him tightly. “The best, Jen,” he whispered. “The very best.”

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued?


End file.
